Voluntary

I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do would not seem forced but would be voluntary.

Philemon 1:12-14

I read Philemon chapter 1 during the week and this thought intrigued me. Paul sent Philemon’s runaway slave back to him, knowing that the law will put him to death unless Philemon intervenes. But he wants Philemon to do so voluntarily rather than take his consent for granted. Paul trusted Philemon to do the right thing rather than demand it or even assume it. That seems to me the best way to help someone change to be a better person because it is then change from the inside. But it means you have to trust, be patient (because they are not going to do the right thing all the time) and persevere.